STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
A bitchslap is in order.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
