yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What did we do last night that was yellow?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Are we still banned from the library?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
They are going to name an STD after you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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