Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
