I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Damn victory sex feels great
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
