I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
PANTIES FOUND
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