Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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