check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
