I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
