im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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