false alarm. still invincible.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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