you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
