Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
