Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
