What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Randomize
