we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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