i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
