Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it was like eating out sand paper
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
