I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
