Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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