My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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