Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
