Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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