someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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