The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
