Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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