I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
