Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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