Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How does one acquire holy water?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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