Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
