I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
