Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think I am morally bankrupt
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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