The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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