My brain says no but my pants say off.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize