There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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