I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
