Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
