I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
