i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
