Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
A bitchslap is in order.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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