Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
