I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
