i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
