Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
