And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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