I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
