Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
