i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the condom got lost in my hair
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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