a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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