i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
