Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
