He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
