windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
