Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
