now i know why i became what i already was.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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