Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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