Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
