Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize