i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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