I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
