I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
