he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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