Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
