I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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