I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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