How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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