Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You're a waste of cheezeits
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
