Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize