dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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