how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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