I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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