I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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